Starting Point for Stress Management

Learning to UNLEARN the binary approach

PARALLAX provides information and techniques to help individuals to reduce stress.

Consider this piece of doggerel:

Until we see that which is wrong
We cannot see that which is right
But once we see that which is wrong
We see what’s right in a clearer light

From the 16th century, children in the UK learnt it as an iambic quatrain.
They would say it out ALOUD repeatedly in order to remember it
(note: iambic (Greek) - a fancy word to indicate that you emphasise every second syllable)
(iambic quatrain: four short lines of rhyme: di – DAH di – DAH di – DAH di – DAH)

un TIL we SEE that WHICH is WRONG
we CAN not SEE that WHICH is RIGHT
but ONCE we SEE that WHICH is WRONG
we SEE what’s RIGHT in a CLEAR -er LIGHT

The modern day scientific method has a similar structure.

Unreality is the primary source of powerlessness,
For what we don’t understand, we can’t control,
And what we can’t control, we don’t control,
And what we don’t control – eventually controls us.

In terms of stress

Stress is the result of an instinctive reaction to an event or situation.
Ignorance is the primary source of our powerlessness about stress.
We need to realise that stress is triggered at the non-conscious level.
We can’t cultivate the appropriate behaviour patterns to manage stress.
And since we don’t understand the origin of stress, we can’t control it.
And any stress we can’t control, we don’t control,
And any stress we don’t control – eventually controls us

If we do want to manage and reduce stress, then we need to learn where to start.

The starting point: Learning to UNLEARN the supposed wisdom about stress.

Consider another piece of doggerel:

If you always do…..what you have always done
You’ll always get….what you have always got

Conventional wisdom explains ideas using a binary approach (a 2 choice: either this / or that logic).

Many stress counsellors use the terms “positive / negative” thinking and “positive mental attitude”.

Others use the terms “optimistic / pessimistic” attitudes. For example: some stress counsellors use the Chinese symbol for “crisis” to illustrate stress. Most people have heard of Yin and Yang in Chinese philosophy. These 2 labels represent “two mutually correlated opposites” or “antitheses” in the natural world. The dual or binary-based concepts of Yin and Yang represent 2 opposing but complementary principles or cosmic forces. This dualistic principle underpins most branches of Chinese Philosophy and Chinese medicine. The stress counsellor asks you to consider a coin. One side of the coin will represent “stress”. The other side will represent “possibility”. You are told that the Chinese symbol for “crisis” combines “danger” and “opportunity” and that events in your life can be likened to a coin. In effect, you have 2 choices. You can view the coin (i.e. your present circumstances in life) negatively as “dangerous / stressful” or positively as “an exciting opportunity”.

On the surface, the explanation makes sense: you have 2 choices: one beneficial, one detrimental. Therefore, in their binary classification, all you have to do is:

think positively and look for the possibility in every situation,
then choose the most beneficial outcome and the stress will disappear.

If ONLY it was that simple to resolve your problems and manage your stress.

Many stress counsellors make 2 key mistakes and encourage others to follow their advice:

Adopting a BINARY based logic to understand a MULTI-DIMENSIONAL environment.
Treating stress as a THING rather than treating it as a PROCESS.

PARALLAX recommends a TERNARY classification with 3 choices: optimistic / realistic / pessimistic.

Apply a TERNARY logic and you will start to treat stress as a process
Learn to treat stress as a process (and not as a thing) and you can manage it.
Understand that stress is a process and you start to avoid situations that cause it.

This means that you do not “run away” from events, it means you deal with them realistically.

The ternary approach always provides a third option. In the example, it is the edge of the coin.

Whatever your circumstances, the best choice at the time is likely to be the realistic choice. The PARALLAX approach explains the differences between a BINARY-based logic and a TERNARY-based logic. The TERNARY approach enables you to understand your environment more comprehensively and, therefore, to deal with the “possibility” of stress BEFORE it happens.

PARALLAX enables you to:

Gain the insight to identify what causes you to feel stressful.
Learn the skills that enable you to reduce and manage stress.

PARALLAX Profiling

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Starting Point for Stress Management

Learning to UNLEARN the binary approach